A Coventry Kid's Tale

Chapter 5: Holidays in Wales

Going to Church on Sundays.

All Saint's church was positioned in Far Gosford Street, built out of red sandstone and having a chancel flanked by an organ chamber and a north chapel. Also a south-west bell-cote containing one bell and possessed a silver Flagon and Chalice. It was consecrated 1869.

Church was a must on Sundays for the child's mother. The whole family would have to attend at least one service, or you were banished to Sunday school. All Saint's was the church, the morning service was a favourite for the mother for she could partake in the Holy Communion, the taking of bread and wine (the mother always did like a tipple), the vicar more so. The vicar's sermon would talk of demons and devils, the sins of the world. It's a shame he never listened to them for he drove his car into a lamp post, and was a vicar no more. (Too much wine).

One Sunday before the new year, after giving a sermon, the new vicar said "At the rear of the church is a diary for each of the congregation". The child's ears pricked up at this, and as the vicar left for the vestry, the child hurtled to the rear of the church to get his diary. The congregation being slower found to their dismay there were not enough diaries to go round. The vicar must have made a mistake with his sums. The child by now was outside, still trying to stuff all the diaries into his pockets before his mother could see them. This he succeeded with and happily sold them at school for a 100% profit. However the following week at church, the vicar, giving his sermon, looked the child in the eye, and said "The greed and gluttony after last week will have to stop". The poor child had been rumbled. Red faced and ashamed, he vowed never to be caught again. The vicar had seen him through the curtain!!
The child, to make up for his misdemeanours, polished the silver for weeks (he found out about the choir pay). If you polished the silver, he was told, you would be asked to sing in the choir. The choir's pay was two shillings, but if asked to sing at a wedding it was seven shillings and sixpence. The poor child was never asked to sing. (All that polishing for nothing).

If the child had a lay-in on Sunday he would have to go to Sunday School because of missing church. This was worse than church for it lasted longer. Off the child would go, past the lamp-post the previous vicar had run over and on to Vecquary Street. There the child had to endure two hours of indoctrination and brain washing. (Never worked on the child for he had not much brain.) After Sunday school it would be back home to endure an hour of silence before the "Black and White Minstrels" came on telly (wow). This must have been an all time boring show. (Now he was brain dead). Off to bed he would go, thankful it was Monday the next day. The only night he was glad to go to bed!!!!!!